THE METHODS we use to crush the pessimism in our own minds apply to all goals. The techniques can be used when you feel demoralized about anything you really want: A good marriage, a slim body, more money, whatever.
Usually the coaching you come across about increasing your persistence or determination or motivation is applied to career goals. Go into a bookstore and find a book about motivation, and it is likely the book was written for salespeople or businesspeople and is oriented to financial success. But the techniques would work just as well with the goal of improving your marriage.
In an article called Finding Love Again With 100 Days of Sex, Nick Hazell writes about a couple who felt their marriage had gone stale and tried to improve things by committing themselves to having sex every day for 100 days in a row. They both felt the experiment was successful. One line in the article struck me: "there is often the defeatist attitude within couples that are aware that their sex life is not what it was, yet simply accept it and just plod along."
People do the same thing with goals of all kinds. It's a defeatist attitude. It's a feeling that nothing can be done to improve the situation. Or that it would be too difficult. The obstacles would be too hard to overcome, so they give up on the goal. This is pessimism, and the defeated feeling is not caused by the circumstances. It is caused by something inside yourself that you can change.
If those couples with a defeatist attitude looked into their own thoughts, they would find thought-mistakes galore. And in finding the thought-mistakes (using the undemoralizing method) and recognizing them as mistakes, the couple would find their feelings of defeat lifting and a new hope and determination would arise in its place.
A defeatist attitude is a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you have decided something can't be changed, you won't try, and if you don't try, nothing will change. If you try to change things anyway while still believing it won't make any difference, you are merely going through the motions, and your efforts will probably only convince you it is impossible.
To really recover your determination, (rather than trying to fool yourself with positive affirmations you don't believe), you have to go after the mistakes in your thinking and find previously unexamined beliefs you hold in your mind that you realize are mistaken now that you really look at them.
When you recognize one of your pessimistic thoughts is mistake, your discouragement instantly vanishes. Your natural desire to achieve your goal reawakens. Your determination comes alive.
Use this material anywhere in your life where things are not going the way you want. Use it vigorously anywhere you feel frustrated or defeated. Go here and Undemoralize Yourself today!